Troubling isn’t it?
It’s in the last thought before you fall asleep at night and in the first one when you wake up in the morning.
As you go about your daily affairs, it grips your heart when you least expect it.
You try to silence it.
But but when you least expect it, it shouts even louder to remind you it’s still there.
And it haunts your every waking moment with disappointment, guilt and regret.
You feel its controlling force inside you. It’s an invisible, yet powerful barrier standing between you and the future.
You want to escape its grip, but you’ve tried before and failed.
And you think there’s nothing else you can do
So you cower under its control and do nothing.
But you’re wrong.
There is something you can do.
You can be set free from your past.
HOW TO MOVE ON FROM YOUR PAST
The past can be your friend or foe.
Most of us view it as a foe. An enemy that haunts us with memories of pain and disappointment. Either our own or somebody else’s.
We know we created a few messes but there were some things we handled so wrong it backfired on us, deflated our ego, or tarnished our reputation.
And most of us have “THAT ONE” big sin we can’t quite get over and we’re still kicking ourselves for it. We can’t imagine God would ever forgive THAT ONE!
If you had a relationship go sour, your reputation go south, or a loved one go home, you know the sting of splitting up, the weight of regret, and the ache of loss.
It’s your choice. You can agonize over your past, or you can embrace it as a friend.
It can be the stronghold that keeps you captive, or it can be the source of your spiritual growth.
HOW TO MOVE ON PEACEFULLY
God works all things according to the counsel of His will.
Unless you acknowledge your past as part of God’s sovereign plan for your life, it will be difficult to ever be at peace with your past. Or the people and pain that are part of it.
Those who suffered at the hands of wicked people must accept that God allowed it and can use it for their good and His glory, or they will never move on peacefully.
They will continue to hold a grudge against their offender as well as God. They usually move on sinfully--blaming God and others (not just the offender) for all their problems. Life will be hard for them.
So letting go and moving forward is impossible for them.
They will let their past control their present in destructive ways. They will neither trust others, nor fully give themselves to them. Because they don’t comprehend God’s love for them, they will not truly accept or give love.
They haven’t received God’s forgiveness for themselves, so they are not able to forgive others.
They don’t understand that it’s not their past, but their own bitterness that imprisons their hearts.
If you want to know how to not let people from your past get to you emotionally, it’s very simple.
Forgiveness is the key that can unlock the cage and set people free from their past.
There are also people who suffer the consequences of their own sins and must take responsibility for them. To move on peacefully they must confess them to God and repent, or suffer guilt.
God designed guilt to cause pain that would lead people to repentance. But people who refuse to handle sin God’s way will only be sorry for the pain of consequences. Instead of pain, they could experience cleansing and have the guilt removed.
A guilty conscience is far more dangerous than a flesh wound. Flesh wounds might leave scars but a hard heart can lead to a seared conscience. Anything that comes between God and His child must be removed.
It can be removed through cleansing, or chopping off. Confessing sin will cleanse the conscience. Corrective discipline will chop it off. The first would be the wiser choice.
If you want to move on peacefully, you must confess your sin and trust God, who said If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Yes, even THAT ONE!
This is a two-for-one special offer. When you receive God’s forgiveness, He enables you to forgive others.
The devil will use memories of the past to lock you in despair. If he can get you to focus on your sins instead of God's mercy and abundance of grace, he neutralizes you. You are no longer a threat to his kingdom simply because you are not moving on to be useful in God's kingdom.
Don't let that happen to you!
Once you confess and repent of sin, you should not dwell on the bad parts of your past, nor be indifferent as if it didn't ever happen.
Instead, you can magnify the grace of God by letting Him use the pain and problems of your past to help others.
HOW TO MOVE ON FROM A BREAKUP
Relationships involve broken people so it’s no wonder they often breakup. Thousands of people want to know how to move on from a breakup and how to get over the “ex.”
But getting over and moving forward can be more uncomfortable than people expect.
Broken relationships can cause some of the most painful of all personal hurts and failures.
There are right as well as wrong reasons for a relationship breakup, but in either case, moving on has to include these components.
Seeking comfort from God will be useless if you aren’t willing to receive it.
God is using your circumstances to change you. But to a hurting heart, change is not comfortable.
Part of the discomfort is caused by the lessons God is teaching us. Sanctification can be painful.
And part of it comes from the discomfort of going from the familiar to the unfamiliar.
Even in abusive relationships people often have difficulty coping with change. When God rescued the Israelites out of the slavery of Egypt, they later wanted to go back!
They had a backward view of a life that was familiar. The unfamiliar forward view was masked in mystery.
God made big promises, but all they could see were big problems because they didn’t trust God.
Their fear eclipsed their future.
Their discontent distorted their past.
When they grew tired of the manna in the wilderness, they cried out for the foods they enjoyed in Egypt.
It wasn’t difficult to gather manna from the ground each morning. But in their present discontent and fear of the future, they somehow forgot how hard it was to make their own straw and mud to meet their quota of bricks back in Egypt.
They preferred the comfort of knowing what to expect each day in slavery, over the discomfort of moving forward in faith to the unknown promised land filled with milk and honey.
If you don’t believe God is for you, you won’t move on.
You won't step out in faith and trust that He is the only one who will never leave you and never disappoint you.
You will continue to dwell on the past with distorted memories and grow more discontent.
Though you suffer because of unmet expectations in your broken relationship, God wants to show you that He alone can meet all your needs and exceed all your expectations.
To get over the “ex” you have to be willing to let go.
And when you finally do, you will feel a sense of loss.
HOW TO MOVE ON FROM A LOSS
In this sinful, cursed-filled world, you will suffer loss in many different ways.
You can lose inanimate things like keys or money. Or living things like your health or people you love. Sin, sickness and death are part of the normal human experience.
Therefore loss and grief are normal.
In our humanness, grief is experienced as a painful regret, or as a sense of distress and sorrow over loss.
The Bible defines grief as a sickness, malady, anxiety, calamity.
And nobody experienced grief worse than Jesus.
But he experienced it for our sakes.
For our losses.
For our healing.
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
LETTING GO AND MOVING FORWARD
So the only way to recover from grief and move on from a loss is to let Jesus help you through the grief until it’s time to let it go.
You can cry and grieve and suffer, but eventually you will move on.
You move on once you accept that your losses are appointed by God.
You move on knowing your losses serve God’s purpose to make you more like Jesus.
You move on when your losses become gains for God’s glory!
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.
HOW TO STOP LIVING IN THE PAST
“Many people live their lives crucified between two thieves—the regrets of yesterday and the anxieties of tomorrow.”
But you don’t have to live between the regrets of yesterday and the anxieties of tomorrow.
You can change your address if you choose to.
Life offers many choices.
Your past is dead but you won’t bury it. It’s sucking the life out of your present because you resurrect it.
You keep looking back at your failures, disappointments and losses because you choose to.
You ask how life might have turned out if only you had chosen differently.
You wonder what could have happened if only you hadn’t done THAT ONE thing.
But you chose.
And it happened.
So it doesn’t matter what you could have done, because you didn’t.
Whatever happened, happened. And it happened in the past and it is unchangeable.
And it happened for a reason that you will likely never understand.
But God is using your past to shape you. Why not cooperate with Him?
Why not choose to let the past be your friend to help you grow closer to God and more like Christ?
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
If you are in Christ, all your sins are forgiven. All the circumstances and events of your life (including sin) are working together for your good!
Your past is part of your transformation.
If you really want to know how to move on, to let go of the past and move forward to the future, choose now to accept the way God writes your story.
Every story has a beginning, middle and end.
The beginning is over.
Turn the page!
The middle is now.
Live in all the fullness of it.
If you are a child of God, you already know the ending.
The final chapter of your life has already been written. You will be with Him in glory forever.
You can focus on that final chapter with gratitude, or dwell on your past with regret.
The choice is up to you!
11 WISDOM FILLED TIPS FOR LETTING GO
- 1Accept the reality about your past because it can’t be changed.
- 2Analyze the facts and identify what you did wrong.
- 3Accept responsibility for your sins and confess.
- 4Have a forgiving attitude in your heart towards anyone that hurt you.
- 5Realize that God is angry at those who sinfully hurt you and pray they would turn to God.
- 6Ask God to show you how you need to change.
- 7Don’t ignore the pain. Give yourself permission and time to grieve.
- 8Don’t let fear overpower your faith. Believe that God is for you.
- 9When regrets from the past haunt you, stop dwelling on them by creating a bucket list of things you’d like to do in the future.
- 10Thank God He is sovereign over everything and can use your past to shape your future.
- 11Don’t isolate yourself. Change your focus from inward to outward and find ways to comfort others who have suffered in similar ways.
Knowing how to move on is just the beginning.
I can tell you how to move on, but only you can choose to move on.
Will you continue to let your past stand between you and God?
Will you continue to let your past stand between you and your future?
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